My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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