oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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