Sry I called you an 8
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
