I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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