i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
