Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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