So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Randomize
