He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
