we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i came on her dog
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
