Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
