Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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