And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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