So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
