was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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