Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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