nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
