I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
