Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
