Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
