Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
