That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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