There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Shame - the story of my life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
