Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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