Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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