please come you make the beer taste better
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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