please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
porn star boner night. come get it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
