Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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