Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
