i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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