i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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