it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
