You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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