Nicole vs. Life
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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