i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
