in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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