Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
