Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
