im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
