Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
