She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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