It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
