oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
