Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
