so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
