Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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