if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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