Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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