butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
