I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
