Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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